I was very hungry today. I opened the freezer to "hunt" my lunch. I hunted through the mountains of Lean Cuisine, and Smart Choice meals. None of them looked all that appealing today. Then I found what I was looking for...the fish fillets. I had just enough time to preheat the oven and cook my fish before I had to go to work.
Fish sounded like a good idea. So I preheated the oven and went to the bathroom. I've noticed a theme in my, now two, blogs...I go "potty" often. Anyway back to the story at hand. I get back to the kitchen about two minutes later, not really enough time for a proper pre-heat but oh well. I throw the fish in and set my timer. I set it for 14 minutes and make the "walking man" theme from The Incredible Hulk my timer sound.
14 minutes later I got the fish out to flip it for a more thorough bake. This was when I got my first indication this was going to be a difficult lunch...far more difficult than I had planned. My fish was falling apart as I was trying to flip them. Two out of the three fillets were sticking to the cooking sheet. "Come on fish, knock it off," I said out loud. I only lost a little bit of the breading, no big deal.
I put the fish back in and was about to leave the kitchen. Before I could leave I heard a sizzle and bubble sound....hmm not sure that is supposed to happen. Being lazy, I didn't check the fish and instead just reset my timer and went back to the couch to watch The Other Guys(better than you'd think!).
13 minutes later "walking man" plays and I shout, "IT'S LUNCH TIME!" I headed to the kitchen and pulled my fish out. Things LOOKED fine, but looks as we know, can be deceiving(that word just took my 2 minutes to spell...I need my new A.D.D meds QUICK). One fillet looked perfect so I slid the fork underneath it and put it on the plate. Fillet 2 looked iffy at best so I thought I'd comeback to that one. Fillet 3 was a little stuck but I was able to get it off the sheet with minimal breading destruction.
Now time for fillet 2, I try to delicately push the fork under...no dice. So I, with all my might, THRUST the fork under the fillet and it's like hitting a BRICK WALL. OH NO YOU DON'T FISH FILLET, I'M GOING TO EAT YOU! So I thrust as hard as I can again and the fork breaks through a little. "Don't do this to me fish," I plead. "COME ON!" With all my force I stab down and pull up like I was shoveling in the sandbox looking for a GI-JOE I swore I would lose. This however did not work like I'd hoped and I cut the fish in half, revealing just how gross fish fillets look on the inside.
After that I just started stabbing all over until I could get a majority of the fillet on my plate. It looked like Edward Scissorhands picked it up. It was a sad looking lunch for sure but in the end, I had my lunch. But I felt defeated....defeated by a fish fillet.
MISSION ACCOMPLISHED-ish.
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