Our tale really begins a couple of weeks ago. For some odd reason I said to someone, "I haven't fallen out of my chair in a long time!" Karma, you are a funny little B-word aintcha!
For a while now I've had these weird tippy moments in my old wheelchair. I still use it at home when I need to go into the bedroom or bathroom because my new chair(well new since summer) doesn't fit through the doorway into that part of the house. I keep imagining me tipping in the bathroom and hitting my head cause my untimely death. Weird, I know. Most guys just think of boobs.(side note: That is usually what follows the death thought. GIGGITY GIGGITY)
Last night, I'm sitting in the living room watching tv. Then that sudden feeling happens..."I GOTTA TINKLE!" So I get up and head to the bathroom. I notice that it's a little harder to get into the bathroom for some reason. I have to push just a little harder to get through. Do I question this? Nope, gotta urinate.
After I'm done(it felt great, thanks for asking!) I head to the sink to wash my hands. This not new to me, but I don't ALWAYS do it. Why? That's my business. WELL actually I just always have dirty hands because of my wheels so I figure, what's the point. Not terribly hygienic I realize.
When I get done washing my hands I put my phone to my side and it feels strange. Kind of like my phone was turned sideways. Then as I'm wheeling my wheel feels a bit wobbly. That's odd, I think to myself. Right when I make my exit out of the bathroom I feel a pretty large jolt, followed by me slowly falling over....MY WHEEL JUST FELL OFF.
"oh sh.." I think and probably say out loud. I slam my arms to the walls and hold myself up. "SHANNA," I yell! "SHANNA!" "what?" She asked calmly. "GET IN HERE!" "Why?" "WHY?! GET THE FUDGE(may not have said that, exactly) IN HERE!" "WHY?!" "I NEED YOU...NOW!" "What do you need?"
Before it went this far I probably should have said right away something like, "honey, my chair is falling apart and I'm slowing falling down." For some reason that doesn't really cross my mind. "HELP I'M FALLING! I THINK MY CHAIR JUST BROKE!"
Shanna comes in..."Oh--ooook" "what should I do" "HELP!" "HOW!" "Um..." I think, "Tip me back slowly and I'll just fall out."
My plan worked. I still don't know what exactly happened other than my wheel just fell off. I couldn't find any wheels broken or parts missing, it just fell off. Part of me thinks my weight MAY have played at least a small part. I'm thinking the part that connects the wheel to the chair slightly moved from me getting in and out over the years.
It was a very strange night. I "fixed" the chair with a hammer for the time being. I felt manly. That faded.
OH and the whole time, I wasn't wearing pants...good night!
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