Jay Thomas vs The Top 10 Monster Movies

Before I start I have to say that I excluded Vampires, Zombies and Werewolves.  Why?  Because they are played to death.  I'll just say that the best Vampire movie is The Lost Boys, best ZOMBIE movie is Dawn of the Dead, and the best werewolf movie is the original WOLF MAN.  Now on to the TOP 10 MONSTER MOVIES!

10.  KING KONG(1933)


I don't care that this movie is almost 80 years old, I love it, claymation and all.  It's great.  It doesn't matter which version of King Kong you are watching because every time KONG is coming through the jungle to get the girl, it's always scary.

9.  The Blob(1988)


This is another one of the movies that it doesn't really matter if it's the old movie or the newer(not really new anymore but you get the idea) both are just fun.  You have this huge alien blob growing and devouring everything in sight.  What does the 80's version have the 60's version didn't?  It's an 80's horror movie, duh!  It's goofy and strange and just a lot of fun to watch.  Matt Dillon's awkward looking brother is in it and the chick from the SAW movies...it's a can't miss!

8. CLOVERFIELD(2008)


J.J. Abrams super secret monster movie gave us the best GODZILLA movie ever made in the UNITED STATES! Only it was shot in the perspective of the people getting stepped on.  Some people get sick watching the shaky came but I like it.  How real is it that the guy would keep filming?  meh, details.  The creature itself is very strange looking and you're never really given a full on great look but that is part of the fun I think.  I prefer this to this past summers SUPER 8 hands down.

7.  The Fly (1986)


David Cronenberg's remake of The Fly starring Jeff Goldblum is one of my favorite 80's monsters.  Goldblum's transformation during the movie is fascinating two watch and of course, disgusting.  The end result is a very strange human/fly creation that doesn't really look like either a human nor a fly but it's creepy and that's all that counts.

6. Tremors (1990)


Tremors is a movie that seems to get better over the years.  Not only is there a huge monster in it named KEVIN BACON but also a weird subterranean worm thing known as a graboid.  What does this monster do? Grabs ya, dummy!  It's like a giant slug that has these snake, hand puppet tongues that can reach you from underneath the ground.  Oh and the Dad from Family Ties and Reba are also in it.  How many different reasons do you need to see this? Also if you haven't seen this yet...we can't be friends.  Plain and simple.

5. Predator (1987)


Arnold isn't the only monster in this.  The Predator is a vicious hunter that is almost impossible to kill.  Unless of course you are covered in mud...then it's pretty easy.  You know when I put it like that...kinda lame.  But the design of Predator is just weird.  It's like a giant Jamaican Venus fly trap that will shoot you in the face with big alien guns. 

4.  Alien (1979)


Alien vs Predator...it's a battle that people have argued about for years.  They even made a couple of awful movies about it.  Why do I prefer the alien in ALIEN?  Because it isn't beat by smearing mud all over you!  Plus it's scary.  It's got a head inside it's head, acid spit, a super long head.  Far superior creature to predator.  These things can crawl in small spaces and are super fast.  Just like with the predator franchise, I only like the original Alien movie.  Some will say ALIENS is better but not me, I actually really dislike ALIENS.  Alien is a creepy atmospheric movie that is terrifying to watch.  The scare at the end gets me every time.

3. GREMLINS (1984)


Gremlins is one of my all time favorites that I don't own on Blu Ray or DVD.  It's hard to believe that something so cute and cuddly can turn into a scaly evil Gremlin.  The scene when the mom is alone in the house is still a super scary scene and to this day has made me scared of the song "Do You Hear What I Hear?"  Gremlins was just on the other day and I got sucked into it all over again, great movie and very scary monster.

2.  Frankenstein (1931)


One of the ORIGINAL Universal Horror movies, Frankenstein is still a very haunting movie and Frankenstein's monster is just as terrifying as ever.  The creature played brilliantly by Boris Karloff is kind of a victim in this more than a villain but that really doesn't make him any less scary.  His first gut reaction to most things is to strangle it(actually most Universal Monsters did this).  I think Bride of Frankenstein is the better movie but the original, is super moody, gothic, and a true classic.  No other version of Frankenstein has been as effective as the original played by Karloff.

1. The Thing (1982)


That's right I'm going with the original remake, possibly the best remake of all time, John Carpenter's The Thing starring Kurt Russell.  So what is so great about THE THING that it was my number one monster movie?  Because there are so many different gross, nasty and most importantly, scary monsters in this movie.  You never get a true shot of THE THING itself because it constantly changes.  Each new version is just as creepy as the last.  That's the thing that I think the new movie missed.  It shows the creature a lot and the design is just not as weird as in this original movie.  I could put JC's The Thing on many different top 10's, it's actually the movie I was watching that made me think about making this list.  It's a great movie if you've never seen it.



HONORABLE MENTION:

THE MONSTER SQUAD.  Seriously, it should probably be on this list, but it was on my last list so I didn't want to double dip.  But it's got all the classic monsters in it and is just great.  See MONSTER SQUAD before you watch VAN HELSING.  Van Helsing sucks wolf man nards.  Yes, Wolf Man's got nards.

Godzilla(any of them):  Honestly, I haven't seen that many of the GODZILLA movies.  I do really like the original but haven't seen it enough to put it on my top 10 list.

The Host: It's a little bit like Cloverfield but a big fish thing.  It's a great little movie.  Check it out if you get a chance.  I believe it's on the Netflix Instant.

Jay Thomas vs. The Top 10 Horror-Comedies

My friend Sean text me the other day and told me to prepare some Top 10 horror movies in light of it being October.  After putting a ton of movies together we decided it needed to be broken up into straight forward scary horror movies and movie comedies.  He drew first blood over on his blog Ecstatic Friday(http://ecstaticfriday.tumblr.com/), no it's my turn.  Here are my Top 10 Horror Comedies...

10. Lesbian Vampire Killers(2009)

Let me start by saying, THIS IS NOT PORN!  It is however a surprisingly funny and well worth a look, vampire movie.  There are a lot of vampire movies out these days and this is one of the few that I genuinely liked.  I'd highly recommend giving this a shot.




9. The Monster Squad (1987)

What really makes this movie so great is that it kind of fell of the face of the earth for a long time.  There is only a select age group that really knows about this movie and it's sad because everyone should know about THE MONSTER SQUAD!  It's like the Goonies meets all the Universal horror Monsters. The best part is that it's a kids movie that is NOT a kids movie.  Dracula literally calls a four year old kid a bitch.  Right to her face!  Menacingly!  It's great.  I simply adore this movie by Night of the Creeps director Fred Dekker and Shane Black, writer of LETHAL WEAPON.




8. Dead Alive(1992)

A movie from the director of THE LORD OF THE RINGS?!  Dead Alive is a complete SPLATTERFEST from Peter Jackson in the vein of Sam Raimi's great THE EVIL DEAD.  Lionel is a loveable loser who's mother is bitten by a spider-monkey and all hell literally breaks out!  This is one of the nastiest movies I've ever seen and it is also hilarious!  Spoiler, this is not the last time you'll see Peter Jackson on this list...




7. SLiTHER(2006)

From the demented mind of James Gunn, Slither is a half creepy crawler movie and flat out zombie splatterfest and I love almost every scene.  It stars Nathan Fillion, Elizabeth Banks, and Michael Rooker.  An alien asteroid falls in a small town and infects Michael Rooker.  Then things get really gross and morbidly funny.  I've watched this movie quite a bit and really have liked it more and more.  Also Greg Henry is amazing in this.





6.  Planet Terror (2007)

Planet Terror is the part of the Movie GRINDHOUSE, that Robert Rodriguez directed. It's a zombie splatterfest that I think really grows on you over time.  It is 100% tongue-in-cheek but has some just pure disgusting gore that is so much fun to watch.  It's a fun zombie movie that takes itself just serious enough.  It's a tough line to stay on because this could have turned into a complete spoof but manages to become a pretty solid zombie/virus outing.  Very enjoyable.





5.  Bubba Ho-Tep (2002)

What happens when an aging Elvis and old black John F. Kennedy fight an ancient Egyptian mummy?  Oh and by the way, Elvis is played by BRUCE CAMPBELL.  I absolutely love Bubba Ho-Tep and Bruce Campbell's portrayal of Elvis.  This movie reminds me of a weird Tales From the Crypt or Amazing Story...um story.  Whenever this movie is on, I'll watch it.  That's gotta say something, right?




4.  Behind The Mask:  The Rise of Leslie Vernon (2006)

A college documentary crew follows Leslie Vernon, a wanna be slasher icon, on the verge of becoming a legend.  None of it is real of course but it is all played that way.  The movie goes between a documentary style and typical horror movie.  The humor in it is very dark but also very funny.  Things end up turning pretty dark.  It features a couple cameos from horror movie icons.  Behind the Mask at times feels similar to Scream in that it pokes fun of the genre and is 100% one of the movies it pokes fun of.  Definitely a movie to check out if you haven't seen it.





3.  Army of Darkness (1992)

If you're doing a list on the best Horror comedies how do you not include at least one of the Evil Dead movies?  Then the next question is, which one do you pick?  The Evil Dead, The Evil Dead II or Army of Darkenss???  The original Evil Dead is much more of a straight, low budget, nasty horror movie(spoiler: I saved it for my other top 10).  Evil Dead II is a great movie that really continues/remakes the original but with a much sillier tone.  But Army of Darkness is just ridiculous amounts of fun.  It's not nearly as gross but has probably the best version of Bruce Campbell's Ash that has been on film.  This time Ash knows what he is up against so he has this cocky ego that is pure fun to watch.  This was a hard pick because honestly any of the Evil Dead movies belong on this list but the one liners and setting just make this movie the hands down pick for me.



2. The Frighteners (1996)

I told you Peter Jackson would be on the list again, this time along side Family Ties star, MICHAEL J. FOX.  The Frighteners tells the story of Frank Banister, played by Fox, who after a terrible accident can see and hear spirits.  He uses this "gift" to scam people out of money.  That is until a vicious spirit from his past comes back to kill everything living, and dead.  This is a very funny and actually very funny movie that deserves more credit than I think it's given.  It was just re-released on BluRay and I can't wait to pick it up.





1. An American Werewolf in London (1981)

Not only is An American Werewolf in London one of my favorite Horror movies, it's also one of my favorite all around movies.  Director John Landis made The Blues Brothers, Animal House and the music video THRILLER among other things, and here, made a truly funny and terrifying werewolf movie.  The werewolf movie, like vampire movies, are hard to pull off.  If you have a bad creature the movie simply falls apart and just doesn't work.  In this particular movie they went with the Jaws approach, in that they barely actually show the FULL creature and it works so well.  It's also a very disgusting gory movie, too, that just so happens to be very funny.  It balances the horror and comedy perfectly.  Griffen Dunn's character Jack is very funny and disturbing all at the same time, while haunting his best friend and newly created werewolf David, played by David Naughton.  I've never seen another movie that is so perfectly a classic horror movie and a genuinely funny movie all at the same time.  This is my favorite werewolf movie next to the original Wolf Man starring Lon Chaney Jr.



This list was every hard to make.  It took a lot longer than I thought it would.  Here are some honorable mentions that were at one time on this list but got booted for one reason or another:
Bride of Chucky, Club Dread, The Burbs, Tremors, Fright Night, Transylvania 6-5000, Gremlins, and Zombieland.  All great for their own reasons but just didn't make it.  You may notice the omission of the mentioned but not listed, Shaun of the Dead.  I've only seen it once and at the time, I didn't think it was that great. I've never gotten around to seeing it again, but do plan on it this month sometime.